We like to have fun at Weather Factory, but cults are serious business. While knowing your eldritch monstrosities from your treacherous tomes is all well and good, you won’t get far without a special element. Beguiling willing acolytes takes more than charm and instilling fear.
You see it’s all in the headgear. How can you be taken seriously as a potential Long, if your noggin isn’t presented fabulously?
The power of a good hat is not meant purely for fashion statements, but to denote hierarchy and sheer pizzazz. One of the earliest examples of head coverings includes this 27-30,000-year-old Venus of Willendorf figure. Archaeologists believe this depicts a wearing a woven hat, which might be a bit of a stretch but we’ll play along.
Let’s look at how some of the best gaming characters are adorned by incredible hats. Some of these might not even be that memorable character-wise, but if from their forehead and above is stylin’, they’re on this list!
Hershel Layton does not mess around. He’s a world-renown detective and let’s face it, would not be too pleased about what you get up to in Cultist Simulator. But it’s clear that this distinguished beast wants you to know that while he’s solving crimes, you’ll want to be arrested for even glancing at his tower-top hat.
A Hat in Time is about a little girl trying to return home in a spaceship. Every facet of the game is cute and cuddly. Hat kid is much more humble in comparison to Layton. She’s ascertained her brand colours, gone with a twist on the standard angles of a top hat and somehow installed balancing mechanics so it doesn’t fly off her head. Style, practicality and high levels of kawaii. 10 hats out of 8!
There are days when you need to unwind and relax. Being the best cult leader doesn’t mean that you exert yourself constantly. PaRappa beanie serves as your cheat hat. Cosy and luminous, yet featuring what could be a simple frog but the more you stare at it, the more you feel its eyes boring into your very soul.
Dough nose fuzz lip man
Came across this hat and really like it. Anyone got the source on the game? Cheers.
Skullgirls is a fun fighting game and it knows that style and function are paramount, especially in the arena. That’s why Cerebella decided to have two massive sentient fists for a hat. Standard really. How does this help a budding leader of the forbidden arts? Simply put, who would dare defy your orders, when one whip of your neck would lead to them being kamehameha’d. The Mansus has no walls, but one whack from your hat and your foes will meet brick!
Iconic. Trailblazer. Ceramic pot smasher! Savior of Hyrule. All these titles and more befit our hero Link, but the first two are the most important because his hat is a definitive fashion statement in the video game world. In a world where turmoil seeks to reign, having a bright fairy tale green hat is a bold move and one that shows true leadership qualities.
His hat even has different titles, such as Cap of Time, Cap of Twilight and Cap of the Hero. Who better to dawn the mantle of a Cultist Leader than someone who has headgear for every season.
SPOILER: SECRET CULTIST SIMULATOR HOUR REVEALED BELOW!
With that, you’ve all learned some valuable lessons about what truly matters when you endeavour to form and lead a cult. You don’t need to thank us!